A Small Group Affair

In our small groups on Wednesday, we read each other's essays, and it was helpful because it invoked discussions about our essays (and how we felt that all of ours were actually quite good!), and about how our portfolios are coming along, and about how we are supposed to assemble them. It was a good small group sesh. On Friday, we received our feedback letters, and I found Angie's to be very helpful. I think she made some valid points, and I plan to go back and edit, add to, and reword my essays a bit. It is definitely helpful to have a fresh pair of eyes (and anyone who is not me) read my work. 

About the Feedback

I changed my flyer according to your suggestions, which I like and appreciate. I also appreciate the indication of the erroneous double spacing in the letter, and the date on the top of the letter may have been lined up incorrectly after I inserted the page with the cover letter. I wondered if Theresa might actually want to use the letter, or the flyer at least, if I presented it to her. I personally probably don't want her to use them, but then again, it's no skin off my nose. And if she thinks they would be effective, then why not!

A [Few] Genre(s)

My genre is going to be a letter with an invitational twist to it, but I was also going to use an e-mail and flyers. I guess I'm mainly stressing a persuasive pathos, with some ethos and logos. Many people write letters for personal matters, and people normally send out invitations for personal events as well. However, some invitations are sent out of politeness, and there are many letters that are formal, like for business, and there are also complaint letters. E-mails are usually used as informal reminders/news bearers or personal correspondences. Flyers are used to get the word out. Normal, everyday people write in these genres; not necessarily great authors. These genres provide much freedom, because they can be informal, and are not set to a specific format (unless you consider a business letter). I found a great website with info about persuasive letter writing. It mentions how in a letter like this, you either expect the audience to accept/agree, or you don't and you really are trying to persuade them. Also, when you write these letters, you ideally should include all the facts. I also found a website about persuasive flyers, and it says to use graphics and "a catchy headline." I'm not surprised it says to do this; most flyers are like this. 

http://oregonstate.edu/dept/eli/buswrite/persuasive_letters.html

http://www.articlealley.com/article_33763_64.html

A Proposal (for Real)

I'm sorry I beat around the bush in my last post; I've realized that I am actually having quite the time trying to decide what to do. I did not want to go the boring route, but I think I'll just write a letter and include an invitation (to a dinner/event/Mass with Newman) and address it to all of the [Catholic] faculty/staff.

A Proposal for Change

I talked to my interviewee again yesterday (via e-mail) and she told me what she would like to see for Newman. I'm glad I asked her, because I would have never guessed/thought of it. She said, "...something I would like to see is more of an involvement from the Catholic faculty/staff of the university. I think their presence is important because it shows that there are professionals who do hold faith as something important. Also it supports the idea that this is a COMMUNITY. Not an organization just for undergrads or graduates." I think that this is definitely something that I can try to promote on campus. I am going to have to appeal to the faculty and staff somehow. I'm actually not quite sure how. I wanted to write a poem, but I don't really think that's going to work anymore. I need to know what appeals to a teacher...

A Response to Comments

Yes, I totally agree that my criteria are really based off of my essay, because I must be honest, I hurriedly typed them out when I got to class and I could not think of any of the criteria that my group and I had talked about last week. And we had a good list of criteria, too. I basically used my essay as the model, but yes, I do agree that there are good essays with citations, books, and structure, that can also lack interviews. I'll go back and reevaluate my criteria. Concerning my tone, maybe I'll just change my audience to college kids. Or maybe I'll have to take all the sarcasm out and keep my audience. I guess I wasn't worried because I know that parents are not actually going to read this. But, I should act like they are, so maybe I'll make it more serious. I guess I was thinking along the lines that Catholic kids, when they go to college, generally stop going to Mass, and they lose their faith, all because they aren't home, and so they don't feel it is important to them, and they want to "rebel." I know my mom worries about my brother (a junior in college) not going to Mass. I would let her read this (actually, I might send the essay to her and see what she thinks), and I almost know it wouldn't reassure her at all, because she knows her own son better than an essay based on a few kids from Newman at Virginia Tech. I make the point that parents only know what their kids are up to based on the story that their child is telling them. I think that many college kids tell their parents what they want to hear, and they don't necessarily tell them everything. My essay hopefully would assure some parents who wonder if their children are going to Mass, based on the information and personal accounts. I wondered if I was being rude towards my audience in the "humor" [sarcasm]; yes, this is not a good thing, so I guess I must change the tone and not make the parents seem too overbearing and such.

A Peer's Perception

I guess my essay reads as trying to be entirely persuasive, which it is not. Also, the tone of my essay is not supposed to be very academic sounding, so I do not wish to omit my personal tone. My reader was a little confused about what I was referring to about certain aspects of Catholicism, but my audience would understand. She was also a bit confused about the time frames and event happenings. Since it has been brought to my attention, I may try to clear it up, but to me it's not confusing. My critic gave me some good little tips about using different terms instead of "kids" all the time, and about making sure my tenses are uniform. She warns me not to generalize the students, and not to criticize my audience at the end, but that was a risk factor in my essay. Also, I'm really not trying to criticize the parents; it's just for a little humorous effect. I mean, the topic is dull enough as it is.

Another Workshop

My group and I were very productive on Friday during our workshops. We each read our opening and closing paragraphs and then we all read each others, and we gave feedback on what was good and what needed improvement in our the essays. We discussed and even questioned the audiences and the broader messages of the essays. We also made corrections on each other's papers. I found it to be a very constructive workshop.

A Good Essay

Good essays are not always so formal in language, and they are not restricted to a specific format (five paragraph essays can be very boring). They should be personal yet factual and believable. They should reflect the author's identity and process of discovery. Essays should not necessarily be biased, but should make the reader think about something from every angle. There are so many kinds of essays, that some almost sound like poems or short stories. Essayists should take some risks when composing pieces - it makes essays way more interesting and attention grabbing.

My essay, according to the writers, should maybe reflect more of my own opinions. I'm not sure if my essay really calls for that though. Also, I personally feel (backed up by the writers) that I should liven up my essay, because it seems a bit dull and fluffy to me now. I should take a risk and really get my audience's attention. I wish I could find someone (for sure) from Newman who only participates for the fraternizing. Now that would be interesting.

An Opening

I was working on the opening paragraph of my essay, and I made an attempt to make it interesting, but I feel that it is overall boring and weird. I think I'm not quite sure how I should capture my audience in the best way possible. Maybe I need to get a feel for where my essay is going first, and then come back to the opening.

A Commenting on Comments

I think the comments are quite helpful (thanks!). It's amusing that someone did practically the same research with the same question last semester, and now there's something to compare mine to; that can be a scary thing. This former student must have witnessed the same attitudes and was affected the same way I was by the members of this community. I think I understand the "purpose" of the abstract now, and I'll work on that. Yes! my Research section does seem like an essay, especially now that it's been pointed out to me. I feel like I do not have anything to write about for my essay now since I did my research proposal like this. I need to tweak the format of my research proposal; I should maybe actually use some bulleted lists. I will definitely work on my Methods section by separating it, and by making it more specific. I'm glad I have been told to use phrases other than "I must" all the time. It does sound strange, like it's a speech or something. Oh, and asking for a psychology grad student is such a good idea!! It definitely makes more sense.

A Few Questions on Page 99

What's your project?   I wish to convey the motivation and fervor with which Catholic college students are involved in their Catholic community on campus.

What works?   My draft is probably a bit grammatically incorrect, so I could work on that, and I could maybe make my proposal more clear, if need be.

What else might be said?   I may want to interview students who are part of this community, so then I would definitely want to include input from those interviews.

What's next?   What I have to say implies that there are Catholic college students out there who actually participate in their faith - they may be driven by their faith or just by the people with whom they wish to socialize.

An Essay

 These are "essays" because they are more personal (first person is used) and are not very research-oriented; they definitely are not boring research papers. These essays seem a bit biased at some points, too (which is not characteristic of a research paper). This can be seen in "The Stunt Pilot," as the narrator goes on and on about how Dave Rahm was such a great pilot. There is even some dialogue, as seen in "Ali in Havana." The essays use descriptive and musical language; for example the narrator of "The Stunt Pilot" says, "Our shaking, swooping belly seemed to graze the snow" in reference to an eventful flight. We can see how the author has used some alliteration here. These essays remind me of short stories. They are interesting, and generally keep the reader's attention (if the reader is interested in the first place). It is key that the author grab the reader's attention; if a person is interested in the topic, that person will at least stay interested if it's a gripping essay.

A Workshop

In our workshop groups on Friday, we all read the first segment of our proposals out loud, and we generally looked around at each other and nodded in approval. Although, sometimes we had questions concerning the clarity of our proposals. We gave each other feedback concerning things from the use of lit reviews to first person. Next time, we should all have multiple copies of our work so that we can all critique one group member's piece at a time; the piece will get many eyes and full attention this way.

A Struggle

When I was writing my research proposal, I tried to regulate my comma usage. I would think to myself something along the lines of  "Do I really need this comma? Is their another way I can rephrase this without the comma? Can I live without this comma?!" I am really trying to reach at least one of my goals. As for the library...I'm working on that as well.

A Lit Review

         Catholic communities are normally found on college campuses everywhere, and the majority of them are specifically referred to as Newman Communities. The Newman Community at Virginia Tech is one in which the Catholic religion thrives through faith, good works, and the commitment of students.

            As read in a 2000 Roanoke Times &World News article, The Newman Community was named for Cardinal John Henry Newman. It was established in 1924 at Virginia Tech. Also, a 1999 Collegiate Times article points out the Mass attendance rose significantly around 1999. Even though 1999 was almost ten years ago, this still shows that college kids are willing to proclaim and live out their faith. It is one of the many choices that they make at college. John Whitney Evans’ book, The Newman Movement, presents the reader with a history of the different stages and struggles of this movement from 1883 to 1971, and shows how it was possible for Catholics to prosper and remain true to their faith, even in college. The Catholic Ethic and the Spirit of Community by John E. Tropman really stresses how Catholics are very much a people of community and moral code.

            These literary works, whether in brief or in detail, in some way all bring attention to the spirit of community and commitment that the Newman community shares.

Bruton , Mary Lou. "Newman Community Celebrates 75th Anniversary Virginia Tech's Catholic Ministry." Roanoke Times & World News 12 Feb 2000.

Evans, John Whitney. The Newman Movement: Roman Catholics in American Higher Education, 1883-1971. Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1980.

McNeill, Brian. "Virginia Tech: Virginia Tech Religious Activity Soars." Collegiate Times 15 Sep 1999.

Tropman, John E. The Catholic Ethic and the Spirit of Community. Washington, D.C.: Georgetown University Press, 2002.

An Awakening

I went on an overnight retreat last weekend with the Newman Community, and I was amazed at the willingness and true participation of the kids who came and also that of the older kids who helped out and gave talks. This observation will help me answer my question having to do with the students vigor and willingness  to be a part of this community. They honestly seemed overjoyed to be there, and to discuss their faith and other related topics. So, maybe the students are just as gung-ho about the community as the campus minister is, and maybe it's not strictly an avenue for fraternization for these kids. While fraternization is a big part of this community, as with many communities, it is not the driving force; there is definitely something more that all of these members value and share.

Q&A

My interviewee had on a cozy-looking gray sweatshirt pullover, capri, and brown flip-flop number. She looked very comfortable, and sat in a chair with one leg up under her. This made me at ease, too. She's not that much older than I am either. I posed my questions, and as she answered them, I hastily scribbled notes and quotes into my notebook. Whenever I looked up from note-taking, I would occasionally see her look at my notebook, as if to see what exactly I was writing. I must say that generally she answered my questions with responses that were similar to what I expected. So now I question if the answers would differ if I were to interview students who are members of the Newman Community. Are students just as gung-ho as the head of campus ministry? I would think probably, because they have chosen to be a part of the community (as my interviewee pointed out). Do members of this community have varying opinions about how things are done (e.g. how the Mass is said)? Do they care only about the social aspect of the community?  It would be interesting to find out what members think is the most important and fundamental aspect of this community.

Go For The Goald(s)

1. I really do need to stop littering my writing with superfluous commas.

2. I need to overcome my libraryphobia. In fact, we must become D.E.A.R. friends.

3. I must try not to put off my homework [major writing assignments] until the last minute, and I need to start backing up my work, should any technical troubles arise.

An Inquiry

The interview questions I asked are as follows:

May I quote you?

Are there any questions you have for me before we start?

How did you come to take this job? Did you and why did you see a need to work here? 

What is a typical work day like for you?

Is there anything you have looked forward to the most? 

What do you like best and least about your job?

Would you want to change anything in your work environment?

What would a perfect relationship with your boss be like?

What type of volunteer work do you feel needs to be addressed first? What volunteer work do you especially want to carry out now?

I also asked about her experience with the Newman Community while she was at Virginia Tech, and if there were any people from the community who had an impact on her.

I asked if there were any specific objects or things in and about her office that were significant or special to her.

I asked about certain details of the Mass here that I had taken note of myself at Mass on Sundays.

I also asked if and how she felt about attending all the Masses on Sundays.

I asked if she went to a Catholic school and if she ever was involved in any Catholic youth groups before college.

I asked if she had a close knit community/family at home.

I asked if I could interview her again in the future after further research.

Section 509

I am in section 509, row cc, behind these fellow Virginia Techians. There is a little brunette and a more filled out brunette that I observe throughout the game. They're friends I assume, and the bigger of the two seems pretty outgoing, and pretty in to this VT game. She is wearing many Hokie accessories: hat, bracelets, lanyard, etc. She is repeatedly yelling things like "kick his ass!" towards the field. The tiny girl seems a bit more tame, but every once in a while, inspired by the other girl, busts a move or a cheer or something at a point of excitement. She has her "white out" shirt on, but with a nice pair of skinny jeans and a leather belt, with no Hokie accessories to be seen. During the second half of the game, this guy with straight but shaggy brown hair, a hat, a lip ring, and sunglasses swiftly navigates around and ends up in between the two brunettes. His subject of interest seemed to be more focused on the little brunette. They exchanged words and jokes, and hugs in which he rapidly moves his arms up and down her back (as if he's warming her). He turns and does this at least once to the other, more festive brunette, too, but I think she initiates at least one of these hugs. He remained here for about the rest of the game and seems rather hyper, cheering and dancing with the louder, fuller brunette, and trying to get the little one into it a bit more. Then at one point, this little blonde girls comes over, clearly trying to get this guy to cheer with her and give her a high-five. He didn't really respond, so she exchanged high-fives and cheering with the bigger outgoing brunette. Later on, this same blonde girl comes over to hang around this boy, seeming as if she also wants to hang out and cheer with the brunettes. The blonde one says something to the guy, and while she turns toward the game, the guy turns toward the little brunette and with a little smile says something to her. The blonde girl whips around and questions what he just said, but he denies saying anything. She eventually initiates a clingy hug. When it is time for the "Hokie Pokie," the blonde girl manages to back herself right in between the little brunette and the guy.

This observation of some kids watching a football game has made me question how old these kids are, if the little brunette is dating this guy, and if the blonde girl likes this guy. It seems almost clear to me the answers from my observations, but then again, one can never be too sure.

A Little Discussion: Page 9

I discussed these abstract questions with Brittany and Will. We talked about how we believe something is true because it is factual and/or because we have faith that it is true. If something is factual, there is clearly some form of witnessed, relevant evidence to back it up. We said that "opinionated truths" are subject to debate. Sometimes "truths" are biased, but a fact is a fact. Normally, we know something is true if there is legitimate evidence, we experience it, and if it is universally accepted. 

A Non Sequitur

I realized the other day that one of my professors is a human version of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons after he said "diddly." It also helps that he sports circular glasses and a mustache. 

Three's A Charm

Here are three specific groups/communities that I am interested in to possibly further research:    

1. WUVT 90.7 FM (Virginia Tech student-run radio station) OR Banana Productions (Blacksburg-based short filmmakers)

----- Forwarded message from sykesam@vt.edu -----

    Date: Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:38:22 -0400     From: sykesam@vt.edu Reply-To: sykesam@vt.edu  Subject: Radio journalism opportunity for English majors!       To: "Cathy  Skinner (Linda C)" <lskinner@vt.edu>    Could you please pass this on to other English majors?  My name is Abby Sykes and I am currently an English major.  I am the News Director for the student run radio station here WUVT 90.7 FM.  The News Team I run is responsible for a half hour broadcast on Sundays at 5:30 as well as 5 minute news updates during the week.  This is a great opportunity for other English majors to gain valuable writing experience as well as a one of a kind journalism opportunity.  They will be able to gain valuable air time and immediately have their stories heard.  As a direct result of my involvement I was able to gain an internship with NPR this past summer.  There are also other aspects to the station to get involved with such as being trained to become an FM DJ or help write articles for the Woove the musical magazine we put together.  You can contact me at Sykesam@vt.edu and there is an organizational meeting for the radio station tonight at 7pm in Squires Colonial for all interested. Please come!  Abby Sykes 

         

2. Newman Community: Catholic Campus Ministry at Virginia Tech

 

3. Virginia Tech Sleep Research Team

Communities I'm "In to"

• Catholics
• my fam.
• pro-lifers
• Bishop Ireton High School
• Ocean City, New Jersey vacationers
• field hockey teams
• tennis teams
• basketball teams
• racquetball enjoyers
• people who play dodgeball in gym class
• go fishers
• St. Mary's rectory employees
• St. Mary's elementary school
• babysitters
• conservatives
• dogs
• cow[spot] lovers
• eaters
• ice cream lovers
• Scottish/Irish people
• shoppers
• fresh kicks lovers
• The Office, Project Runway, What Not To Wear, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Dodgeball, Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber, and Heavyweights fans
• easily distracted when reading community
• slightly OCD/neurotic community
• acne sufferers
• Virginia Tech

A Commencement

This is my blog. Creative "welcome," I know.