A Small Group Affair

In our small groups on Wednesday, we read each other's essays, and it was helpful because it invoked discussions about our essays (and how we felt that all of ours were actually quite good!), and about how our portfolios are coming along, and about how we are supposed to assemble them. It was a good small group sesh. On Friday, we received our feedback letters, and I found Angie's to be very helpful. I think she made some valid points, and I plan to go back and edit, add to, and reword my essays a bit. It is definitely helpful to have a fresh pair of eyes (and anyone who is not me) read my work. 

About the Feedback

I changed my flyer according to your suggestions, which I like and appreciate. I also appreciate the indication of the erroneous double spacing in the letter, and the date on the top of the letter may have been lined up incorrectly after I inserted the page with the cover letter. I wondered if Theresa might actually want to use the letter, or the flyer at least, if I presented it to her. I personally probably don't want her to use them, but then again, it's no skin off my nose. And if she thinks they would be effective, then why not!

A [Few] Genre(s)

My genre is going to be a letter with an invitational twist to it, but I was also going to use an e-mail and flyers. I guess I'm mainly stressing a persuasive pathos, with some ethos and logos. Many people write letters for personal matters, and people normally send out invitations for personal events as well. However, some invitations are sent out of politeness, and there are many letters that are formal, like for business, and there are also complaint letters. E-mails are usually used as informal reminders/news bearers or personal correspondences. Flyers are used to get the word out. Normal, everyday people write in these genres; not necessarily great authors. These genres provide much freedom, because they can be informal, and are not set to a specific format (unless you consider a business letter). I found a great website with info about persuasive letter writing. It mentions how in a letter like this, you either expect the audience to accept/agree, or you don't and you really are trying to persuade them. Also, when you write these letters, you ideally should include all the facts. I also found a website about persuasive flyers, and it says to use graphics and "a catchy headline." I'm not surprised it says to do this; most flyers are like this. 

http://oregonstate.edu/dept/eli/buswrite/persuasive_letters.html

http://www.articlealley.com/article_33763_64.html

A Proposal (for Real)

I'm sorry I beat around the bush in my last post; I've realized that I am actually having quite the time trying to decide what to do. I did not want to go the boring route, but I think I'll just write a letter and include an invitation (to a dinner/event/Mass with Newman) and address it to all of the [Catholic] faculty/staff.

A Proposal for Change

I talked to my interviewee again yesterday (via e-mail) and she told me what she would like to see for Newman. I'm glad I asked her, because I would have never guessed/thought of it. She said, "...something I would like to see is more of an involvement from the Catholic faculty/staff of the university. I think their presence is important because it shows that there are professionals who do hold faith as something important. Also it supports the idea that this is a COMMUNITY. Not an organization just for undergrads or graduates." I think that this is definitely something that I can try to promote on campus. I am going to have to appeal to the faculty and staff somehow. I'm actually not quite sure how. I wanted to write a poem, but I don't really think that's going to work anymore. I need to know what appeals to a teacher...

A Response to Comments

Yes, I totally agree that my criteria are really based off of my essay, because I must be honest, I hurriedly typed them out when I got to class and I could not think of any of the criteria that my group and I had talked about last week. And we had a good list of criteria, too. I basically used my essay as the model, but yes, I do agree that there are good essays with citations, books, and structure, that can also lack interviews. I'll go back and reevaluate my criteria. Concerning my tone, maybe I'll just change my audience to college kids. Or maybe I'll have to take all the sarcasm out and keep my audience. I guess I wasn't worried because I know that parents are not actually going to read this. But, I should act like they are, so maybe I'll make it more serious. I guess I was thinking along the lines that Catholic kids, when they go to college, generally stop going to Mass, and they lose their faith, all because they aren't home, and so they don't feel it is important to them, and they want to "rebel." I know my mom worries about my brother (a junior in college) not going to Mass. I would let her read this (actually, I might send the essay to her and see what she thinks), and I almost know it wouldn't reassure her at all, because she knows her own son better than an essay based on a few kids from Newman at Virginia Tech. I make the point that parents only know what their kids are up to based on the story that their child is telling them. I think that many college kids tell their parents what they want to hear, and they don't necessarily tell them everything. My essay hopefully would assure some parents who wonder if their children are going to Mass, based on the information and personal accounts. I wondered if I was being rude towards my audience in the "humor" [sarcasm]; yes, this is not a good thing, so I guess I must change the tone and not make the parents seem too overbearing and such.

A Peer's Perception

I guess my essay reads as trying to be entirely persuasive, which it is not. Also, the tone of my essay is not supposed to be very academic sounding, so I do not wish to omit my personal tone. My reader was a little confused about what I was referring to about certain aspects of Catholicism, but my audience would understand. She was also a bit confused about the time frames and event happenings. Since it has been brought to my attention, I may try to clear it up, but to me it's not confusing. My critic gave me some good little tips about using different terms instead of "kids" all the time, and about making sure my tenses are uniform. She warns me not to generalize the students, and not to criticize my audience at the end, but that was a risk factor in my essay. Also, I'm really not trying to criticize the parents; it's just for a little humorous effect. I mean, the topic is dull enough as it is.